First off, OMG gardening time! Seeds started. Time to dig some beds.

I’m about a week and a half through P90X, and I have to say that I like it a lot. I’m about 4 – 5 lbs down from where I was when I started, and what amuses me to no end is that it’s visible in a very strange way. Basically, I’ve kept my hips but lost my belly. Weird. My waist is down an inch from the last time I measured it, so I think that marks this experiment a success. Even though I didn’t do P90X for weight loss specifically, I’m not going to complain about dropping a little fat.

The most difficult part of the program is the leg series. I swear, my calves have been sore for a week. I don’t think the workouts are too intense while they’re in progress either – bag class is much more difficult. But a week of sore calves don’t lie.

I also really like the yoga series. I haven’t done any yoga in about a year since my Bikram experiment, and I forgot how much I missed it. The sun salutation / warrior series drags on a bit, but I’ve never liked sun salutations anyway. The floor series is great. It’s nice to be reminded of how much I like Hatha yoga.

I’m also back at the Krav Maga studio again after a short break due to my insistence on rest after a test, and a cold from hell. Any cold that makes me take a sick day when I WORK FROM HOME must be due to a demon from the netherworld. In the next couple weeks I’ll be starting up private lessons, which is simultaneously scary and exciting. Nothing like getting picked on for an hour by a giant red-haired person who can kick you through a wall if he so chooses. And yet, I voluntarily do this.

Dance is going surprisingly well. I say surprisingly, because what I’ve noticed is progressing is the feeling of ease on the stage, which is NOT what I expected to happen. In other words, it’s becoming easier not to be a ham because I’m nervous. We performed yesterday and I felt pretty good all around, even though there was one annoying woman at the front who wouldn’t shut up. As a soloist, I would be tempted to harass her, and probably would. Point being, it’s becoming easier to put myself out there. We’ll see how easy it is for my set in May, when I draw upon some difficult emotions.

I’ve developed a new teacher voice for Lisa in my head, that almost always says, “Well, that’s interesting,” upon seeing something that doesn’t work so well.

Additionally, it appears I’m chronically stressed. Also, Cortisol is a bitch. Who would have thought being sick for two years with Lyme, then Pneumonia, then Mono would be stressful on top of my admittedly borderline insane lifestyle? Can you feel the sarcasm from here? I’m trying out Phosphatydl Serine and Theanine supplementation to see if that makes me feel any better. I had a supplement with a low dosage of both that definitely DID, so we’ll see what the therapeutic dosages do. Maybe I’ll actually be easier to deal with.

…without the abstaining from alcohol, of course.

I’m going on a self-imposed sabbatical for a bit, disconnecting from the non-anonymous online world (as opposed to this, which is not publicized to those who know me personally) and the most of the upcoming social events.  I need to get my game back.

February was tough. Ramping up for my Level V test was hard, battling Lyme disease at the same time was brutal. Learning to take my dance to an deeper place left me an emotionally raw. Running a show with a severe cold left me utterly exhausted. The massive snowstorm just pissed me off.

So, I’ve decided to take a break from the social scene and just study. Study dance intensively with Lisa’s recommendations. Start doing one-on-one focus mitt work with my teacher. Start P90X to cut up. Lift. Get back to basics, which, for me, is training intensively and eliminating distractions.

Secluding myself and training intensively has always been somewhat soothing – either the simplicity of it is appealing, or perhaps I just don’t like the distractions being around others inevitably brings. And honestly, the more I train, the less I want to deal with outside of my disciplines. I’m starting to understand why the husband was such a recluse when he was performing.

Channelling my inner Epicurus for a moment…in terms of energetic balance, the amount of energy one pushes outward must be met by an equal amount of energy projected inward. In simple terms, one should strive for equal amounts of activity and rest. So, the harder I work, the more rest I need. I’ve been working non-stop with no rest for several months, so it’s not surprising that I feel ready to keel over.

So, it’s time to rest and train, and come out even stronger at my next performance. I want each performance for the next year to be leagues ahead of the last in ability and visual impact.