As I approach nearly fifteen years in this industry, and twentieth working with computers, I’m inclined to reflect upon some of the crazier moments, and crazier clients. In that time period, I have come to realize that these behavior patterns are universal amongst bad clients. If you are considering asking for web help, please try to avoid these patterns, so you don’t drive your web professional insane.
Print is not the same as web.
The scenario:
“[Holding up a ruler to the monitor]…Why is this container [X] inches, when the brochure is [X] inches? ”
“These fonts don’t look the same as our brochure. Why can’t we use [some completely random non-standard font] for the body?”
“[X] needs to be below the fold.” (When they have a single article with three sentences above the theoretical fold on an 800×600 monitor)
Really? You don’t understand the difference between the two? Is a painting the same thing as a photograph? Are the pixels off on those? If you don’t understand the difference between the two types of media, please ask your nearest designer. She’ll be glad to educate you. More than likely, she’ll be overjoyed that you’re actually listening to her advice.
Don’t be a creep.
The scenario: “We decided today that we want to completely change the scope of events. This won’t impact our launch date, right?”
One of the most annoying and stressful situations to a web professional is scope creep. If we offer to provide a self-maintainable static site, don’t try to turn that into a fully maintained dynamic site with e-commerce for the same price, in the same time frame. Additionally, if you find yourself requiring something more than the original agreement, it might be helpful to tell your web professional so she can adequately prepare and not tear her hair out in frustration when you unexpectedly announce you want the next YouTube.
Be clear in what you want.
The scenario: Client: “We don’t like any of the new designs. Why can’t it be more like our old design?” Designer: “But you said you wanted something completely different?” Client: “You can make it different – just change the colors or something.”
Seriously, if you want that stupid looking icon from your old logo, tell us before we spend 6 hours each coming up with something completely different, because you ambiguously said you wanted something “new”.
Here’s the truth – after a certain amount of time dealing with bad design, one builds up an immunity to it. If you want something that looks ridiculous, we really don’t care. We might try to steer you in a better direction, but if you obstinately refuse to listen to reason but still pay the bills, we’ll go along for the ride. But being unclear in what you want is really only going to waste your time, because we’ll bill you for every hour we spend deciphering your cryptic instructions.
Communicate.
Scenario: Client: “….”
If we don’t hear from you for several weeks, especially after several emails, we’re going to assume you’re no longer interested and bump you from the work queue, in favor of actual paying clients. If and when you come back, don’t get angry about getting moved to the back of the line – if you don’t bother letting us know whether we still have work, we can’t be expected to follow you around begging for assignments.
Don’t ask for things for free.
The scenario: “Hey [X], website question….”
Have a web developer friend? Need help with something? Be prepared to pay for it. After all, you don’t offer your services for free, do you? Many years ago, I actually had a freelance inquiry where a prospect asked me to create a site for her FOR FREE, so she could learn to build the site herself.
This happens to so many of my professional friends, from lawyers to golf pros. Without exception, our professions are rather draining, and we generally don’t want to go back into the work mindset when we’re no longer at the office.
Generally we’re happy to help out friends, especially when they’re willing to pass us a little business on the side. Sometimes barter arrangements can be especially cool. But really, don’t expect us to spend several hours losing money on something that you don’t want to pay for.
If you’re lucky enough to score upon free web work for whatever reason, pat yourself on the back, because you must have been extra good in this life or the one previous. Do something nice for the person who offers up such a gift.
You are not our only client.
The scenario:
“[After recieving work at 11:00 AM] Why can’t you have this done by this afternoon?”
“Why can’t you start on this project now, instead of in September?”
It’s very rare that one client ever pays the bills. If that’s the case, then we’re probably working for a giant and don’t freelance. So yes, we have other clients, and yes, some of them do come before you, more than likely because they haven’t given us the same amount of grief. They likely had all their materials together and were ready to start when you were still waffling about something trivial, or just plain got in line before you. So wait your turn.
We are professionals in this industry for a reason.
The web world is more cutthroat than you can imagine. If we’ve managed to stay in one place for a significant length of time, it’s because a) we know our shit, or b) we’re ruthlessly cutthroat ourselves. Either way, you might want to listen to what we have to say.
Trust our judgment. We really do want your website to succeed as well as look spectacular, because it reflects well on us. So while we do become hardened to bad design decisions as stated above, we still get excited over innovative work and great clients. When we are lucky enough to have one of these, we’re more inclined to throw in a little extra effort, because of the rare opportunity to do something great.
But that requires you, the client, to be flexible, and actually listen to our advice.
